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Careers - New Position

2016-1999

Senior Manager of Cheese Consumption

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Title Senior Manager of Cheese Consumption
# of Openings 1
Category   Other
Type Full-Time [35-40 hrs]
Store Corporate

 More information about this job:

Overview:

Di Bruno Bros. is looking for a Senior Manager of Cheese Consumption, or "cheese tasting master" to start immediately. We seek a hungry individual looking to consume the House of Cheese at breakneck speeds and with gusto. 

Responsibilities:

  • Cheese tasting
  • Cheese identifying (milk type, country of origin, raw vs. pasteurized, flavor profile, identifying cheeses at a distance of 18 yards is a plus.)
  • Cheese consuming, preferably at or above 25 CPH (cheeses per hour)
  • Have to identify cheesemaking animals and what sounds they make (i.e. Cow goes, “Moo!” Sheep goes, “Baa!”)
  • Cheese-related witty banter
  • Making cheese puns regardless of social downfall

Qualifications:

  • At least 20 years of professional eating experience
  • “Ten octave” palate
  • Must be able to consume up to 50 lbs. of cheese a day without severe gastronomic distress
  • Loves cheese on pizza, burgers, pasta, cardboard, etc.
  • Willing to bring innovative ideas for faster and larger cheese consumption
  • Willing to participate in spontaneous taste-tests while blindfolded

PHYSICAL DEMANDS 

While performing the duties of this position, the individual is regularly required to use legs, arms, hands, fingers, other extremities, or technological devices that support the process of achieving a rapid cheese-to-mouth consumption rate. Must be fully versed in a variety of "yummy noises" that communicate the deliciaousness of what you might be consuming without wasting precious cheese eating time. The individual is required to be actively eating for the majority of their shift and will frequently be required to sit and/or stand. The individual must regularly move up to 15 pounds of food a day. Self-starters are a must, and motivation to eat shall be at the sole discretion of the candidate.

WORK ENVIRONMENT

The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those an individual encounters while performing the essential functions of this job. Due to the nature of our industry, the performance of this position will require the individual to spend time in a facility in which he/she will be exposed, either directly or indirectly, to potential food allergens including (but not limited to): peanuts, gluten, corn, egg, fish, milk, shellfish, soy, tree nut, wheat, and wheat byproducts. That being said, the general surroundings are guaranteed to be succulent. Candidate should be prepared to endure the envy of everyone he or she has ever met, and will be provided with ample support to monitor the insane amounts of happiness that will result from massive cheese consumption. Candidate must provide their own utensils.

 

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No thanks.